Mr Chriddof


A Public Information Film

Brisbane Anal Centre is the world’s leading scientific research facility of putting artificial anuses into inanimate objects and placing items of differing sizes and shapes into those artificial anuses. We hope to continue our work into the year 2015 with a grant from the Algernon III Horse Emperor Of Holland Memorial Foundation. We need your support! Simply remove as many examples of the letter “P” from liner notes printed in the booklets of early 90s REM compact discs and send them to The Vatican, Vatican City, Vietnam, Vietnamican Vietvaticity, Cardiff, England, USSR. With this simple action, that will only take up 5 minutes of your time, life as we know it will cease to exist. The letter P - it can really screw you up.

That was a Public Information Film.

For some time now I’ve been fascinated with On Kawara, the Japanese conceptual artist and painter. And now, I’ve only just found out, he is no longer with us. There now follows a brief tribute and primer to Mr Kawara.

He was mainly known for his date paintings, on which every day from the mid 1960s right up until his death, he painted nothing but text displaying that day’s date (in a perfect hand-drawn font, which resembled Futura) on a plain coloured background, either black, gray, red or blue. (If he didn’t manage to complete a painting before midnight, he would destroy it.)

These were just one part of his whole life’s work, which was to do with the passage of time, and existence. There was also stuff like the following (taken from the article I linked to above):

Between the late 1960s and 1979, Mr. Kawara sent telegrams as regularly as possible to a rotating selection of friends and colleagues that announced, “I am still alive.”

During the same period, his “I Got Up” series consisted of mailed postcards rubber-stamped with the time he had risen and the address where he was staying on a given day. For “I Met,” he typed lists of all the people he encountered in the course of a day. In the mid-1990s he typed lists of one million years — one reaching back in time, the other forward — that were read aloud in performances in New York, Paris, London and elsewhere. This work was published in a limited-edition two-volume set that ran to 2,012 tissue-thin pages per book.

Of that last thing mentioned there, a relatively small 73 minute long extract of the One Million Years project, which involves the span of years lasting from 1994 to 2613, was recorded and released as a CD, which can be downloaded or streamed over here.

Also, there’s a whole bunch of videos by various people on Youtube about him.

In recent years there were also a number of digitally-orientated tributes to Kawara. I recall that someone wrote a script to automatically recreate the entire text of One Million Years, which could be viewed online. I can’t seem to find that now, though. Also there was a blog on Google’s Blogger service which automatically recreated the “I Am Still Alive” thing, by checking RSS news feeds for any mention of his death, and when it came up with nothing, the blog would create a post stating that he was still alive. However, I can’t seem to find that either.

The latter seems to have been replaced by an unofficial On Kawara Twitter account doing the same thing. Only it’s ruined a bit by the needless hashtagging of “ART” at the end of each daily post (possibly betraying the actual attitude of the account’s maker, giving a vague air of a sneery, “lol would you believe this shit” irritatingness - hopefully I’m reading too much into that), and whoever it was that set it up doesn’t seem to have realised that Mr Kawara is dead, meaning that the last several days have gone by with “I AM STILL ALIVE” being (presumably) automatically posted.

So, that’s On Kawara. I thought he was great, and he is no longer alive.


Dried Fruit Section No.2
Muffled Talking
HTV West (Taiwan Region)
Ben Turpin
Phallic Sculpture In Black Light Room
NTSC Tint Knob
United States Of Northsouth Korea
HTV West (Temporary Autonomous Zone Region)
That Twat
Corpse Government On Springs
Skinless Rolf Harris (Zonked Out On Deathbed)
Photograph Of Torments Of Christ


I’ve done the front cover for a book. Now all I have to do is write it…

I’ve done the front cover for a book. Now all I have to do is write it…

The Edge Of The Divine - 2 minute video loop

Words Of Inspiration

Apply foil to skin and then peel away foil. Eat a pie but don’t eat a pie. Be nothing and then be something. Fold thumb and then extend. Look at dusty surface and grimace. Build a box to store Japanese pictures.

Take photo of space where something happened twenty years ago. Drop ball into soup. Start an upside-down CIA. Act like a lizard. Scratch area of skin on left hand side of bellybutton. Go to women’s hairdressers and take note of the smell.

Plan out how you can make the world smoother. Manufacture mayonnaise. Just try to stop. Be more important when sitting in wicker chair. Only cry internally. Think of just a face in ice. Prevent aftershave. Disfigure an image of something very sad. Consider trimming jowls. Prepare to be asked what dorsal fins are.

Enough is enough is enough is enough. Be increasingly weary of false collective memory. Hide peas under shoes. Make buttocks be a lion. Maybe one day I look pretty. Empty prattle of all syllables and wait for dawn.